top of page

You Are Responsible

     You know, there was a time in my life when I would blame my life conditions on other people. My dad was the most blameful person I knew. And as a child I really was under his thumb. He was physically and verbally abusive. He is the kind of guy that thinks if you fear him that means you respect him. WRONG! Me and my four siblings just hated him. The day after my eighteenth birthday I moved out of the house and left my sick mother and my four siblings there with him. I just couldn’t live with him one more second. But even though I didn’t live with him anymore, I couldn’t stop blaming him for the things that went wrong. It’s like just because I changed my location doesn’t mean I left those feelings behind. For years after I left I was still under his thumb. It wasn’t until my mother died that I found a way to free my mind from his unhealthy hold on me. I was twenty three at this time and even though I knew my mother was dying, when it actually happened I went into a deep sadness. I was staying with my grandmother because I couldn’t do anything. I wasn’t working or going out anywhere, and she finally yelled at me to get some help. So I did. I actually found a place that charged on a sliding scale. So I didn’t have to pay anything, and that’s good, because that’s exactly what I had, nothing. 

     After a few visits I realized that I wasn’t really saying anything. So my counselor, Sarah, suggested that I write things down as they occurred to me, so that when we did visit I would have something to talk about. This actually got things moving. After complaining and dwelling on all the things my father did or didn’t do my whole life, Sarah said something that totally turned me around. She said, “You know you can tell your father no”.This was exciting news. But it still took a while for this to sink in. And once it did I realized that I was on my own. The decisions I made were all mine, good or bad.  

     At first it seemed great, until it really sunk in, that I am responsible for everything that happens in my life. There is no one left to blame. And I have pretty much been living my life this way since.  

     Lately though I have been realizing that I have much more power because I take responsibility for my life.  

     You see, when you stop blaming others for what happens in your life, and you start taking responsibility for everything that happens, you start making better choices and decisions. Here’s an example of something that happened to me. I was driving my car on the freeway and traffic was stop and go. I was watching the car behind me and it seemed to be getting awfully close every time traffic slowed. I was thinking, “ If that guy hits me, I’ll hit the car in front of me, and that would total my car”. Minutes later, when traffic started moving again, I looked to my left to see if I could change lanes, But when I turned back, the traffic in front of me was completely stopped. I pushed the brakes as hard as I could and veered to the right shoulder, but the car in front of me did the same thing, trying to avoid getting hit straight on. If they hadn’t moved I probably would have been okay, but it happened, I totaled my car. Now do you see how I was responsible for that accident? Believe me when I say that thoughts are things and we manifest what we think about. So, was it an accident? Or did I manifest it by thinking about it with a real feeling behind it? When we realize the correlation of our thoughts and what happens in our experiences, we understand it.  

     Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat”? Well, the same thing can be said for, “You are what you think”. I’ll bet that if you thought about it, you could remember a time when you thought of something or asked for something, and all of a sudden there it was. This is not a coincidence. Think of it as incidents that co-create with each other. You see when you have desires the Universe goes out and collects all the components to bring you what you want. You ask, you get. It’s that simple. But remember that you don’t have to ask with your words, your thoughts are questions as well. So don’t you think that paying attention to our thoughts is important? If we all did that we would definitely have much better coincidences. It takes lots of practice to change the way you’ve been thinking, but you can do it. And I’m here to tell you that Today is Someday. It’s time to start creating the life you really want. Each of us is responsible for what happens or what comes to us. Today is the day to decide what you want, and who you really want to be. Today is the day to start taking care of yourself and learning that happiness is a choice.  

     Have you ever heard sayings like, “Like attracts like, or knock and the door will open, or that which is liken to itself is drawn, or ask and you shall receive, or where focus goes, energy flows”? All of these sayings mean the same thing. And that is, what you think about will come to life. The power is in each and every one of us. We have the right to use this power to better our lives. We are worthy of being whatever we choose. It comes from within. There is no outside source that judges us. We are our own judges. We are all part of the same source that brings our human bodies to life. I call it our soul. But it goes by many other names such as, your inner being, or infinite intelligence, or even God. So remember that when creating the life you want, it comes from the inside first. Meditation is a good way to access your inner world. In this quiet space you can really get to know yourself, and figure out what’s next. While in meditation don’t focus on your questions, but clear your mind so that the answers can come. When you quiet your mind you give infinite intelligence a chance to bring you new ideas. And it might not be clear during meditation, but soon after something may occur to you that gives you goosebumps. Or it might be a gentle nudge that seems light but very prophetic. The secret is to pay attention to the little nudges. The more you notice the correlation between thoughts and manifestations, the stronger your beliefs get. And by strong I mean that the more you will expect things to go your way. You will start to feel that you are connected to the Universe. Just like the plants, insects and animals and even human babies expect to be taken care of. None of these things worry or fret because they are in alignment with the all-knowing intelligence that lives in each and every one of us as well. But as humans we get distracted and somehow forget that we are always taken care of. And things are always working out for all of us. Think about all the things you have worried about that never did happen. That was just a waste of energy. Instead of worrying about what bad thing might happen, try thinking about what-if everything worked out the way you want it to. It is a better way to use your brain power, don’t you think? I do. And even though I still have my moments of self-doubt or what-ifs, they’re getting less and less. And a peaceful calm feeling comes over me more often. And the expectation of what I desire in my life is unfolding in divine timing. And I just need to relax and follow the clues when they come. But as Abraham Hicks says, “Don’t worry, you can’t get it wrong because you’ll never get it done”.Every time you accomplish one project you are immediately on to the next one. So have fun with it. Be responsible for yourself and start living the life you choose.  

     And remember that there is always great love for you here. 


                                          Deb Mertan 


Recent Posts

See All


What is mindfulness? How does it influence our lives? Well, did you know that when we are mindful of our words and actions we can create a more beautiful and happier life for ourselves and others? Thi


bottom of page