top of page


When Buddha started to wander around India shortly after his enlightenment, he encountered several men who recognized him to be a very extraordinary being. They asked him, “Are you a God?” “No”, he replied. “Are you a reincarnation of God?” “No”, he replied. “Are you a wizard then?” “No”. “Well, are you a man?” “No”. “So what are you?” They asked, being very perplexed. Buddha simply replied: “I am awake.” Buddha means, “The awakened one.” How he awakened is all he taught.

By Jessen O’Brian and Susan Allen

I found this on the internet because I wanted to make sure I got the message right about being awake. Even before I knew anything about Buddha I went through an experience where I felt like I finally woke up to who I really am. And from that time on I have been working on becoming the best me possible. Yes, it took a lot of practice and a huge desire to feel a little better each and every day. One day, after doing a lot of crying and worrying, I saw the fear I was projecting onto my two teenage kids, I stopped and said to myself, “This isn’t me!” I just knew at that very moment that no one could change my circumstance but me. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and look for ways to make myself feel better, even if it was just a little bit at a time.

So, now I was on a quest. I started looking up quotes and mantras on the internet. I also found fun little exercises to do to get me out of my rut. And guess what? In just a few short days I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve told this story many times, but it’s worth repeating. One of the exercises was to write a list of ten things you love about yourself. At first it was a little difficult because I had been practicing not loving myself for a while, so I really had to put some thought into it. I wrote things like I love that freckle on my middle toe, and I love my laugh. And it had to start with “I love.” After the list was finished I read it to myself every morning for seven days, then I would go on with my day. Then I would make a new list for the next seven days and repeat the process. I found that the second list was a little easier to write. I even wrote that I love that I’m a good mother. But it was probably because I was feeling a little more love toward myself and I could feel it from others as well. After only three days of reading the first list I got a call from my landlord. You see part of the reason I was crying a lot was because I was having trouble paying my rent. He had already started an eviction earlier and somehow I caught up with the rent. But now it was happening again. But the phone call was not to collect rent, it was to give me a free month’s rent to help me catch up. I started crying but this time they were happy tears. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart. I continued to make and read new lists for a couple more weeks, and believe me when I say, “It works!” It felt miraculous. I tried other exercises as well. Soon I was feeling a lot better and things just seemed to be working out for me more often. I couldn’t deny the correlation between my new attitude and the things that were happening in my life.

Even though things were better, I just couldn’t catch up with the rent. But instead of worrying and charging up the old fear machine, I decided to feel what to do. I thought, “Why am I struggling to stay in this house?” Then I thought, “Maybe the Universe wants me to move.” As soon as I thought that the idea came to me that I should ask the landlord to start a new eviction. This would give me about three months to save money for a new place. So, now I would have an eviction on my record, what should I do. I know, my daughter is old enough to rent a place. I’ll live with her. Then the phone rang. It was a friend of mine who just happened to have a rental house. She told me her tennents gave her a two month notice, and would I want to rent her house? Of course I said yes.To make a long story short, I came up with a plan and presented it to the court and everything worked out. I did not get evicted. And after a few years of renting my friend’s house, I actually bought it.

Of course I still had a lot to learn, but just feeling better made a world of difference. Since that time I have found all sorts of books, podcasts from people like Oprah, Abraham Hicks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Wayne Dyer and many more. I study as much as I can because this is a lifestyle change. It is the only way to live a powerfully positive life.

What kind of information are you letting into your mind? It’s time to retrain your brain. It’s time to become the person you really want to be. As Dr. Joe Dispenza (A scientist and a person who understands the law of attraction) says, we learn in increments. This is because we have been used to thinking, believing and living the way we have for a long time. So when we’re trying to change the way you think, believe and live, it can feel a little uncomfortable, or maybe a lot uncomfortable. Our bodies have a memory of their own. As we are changing the habit of being our old selves mentally, our bodies are fighting to keep things the way they are. When changing into the new you there is a chemical reaction occurring inside, and once the body and mind align we reach a tipping point, and this is when the real magic starts.

Anybody can change. By breaking the habit of being your old self, you make room for the new and improved you. Life is your school and your emotions are the key to a happy life. And as far as I’m concerned that is success. When you keep practicing living in the emotion of what you want, or the version of the future you desire, without frustration and impatience, and you stop comparing yourself to anyone else, you will find that what you are seeking is seeking you. You become a magnet to all you desire. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “cause and effect.” It’s up to you to cause the effect you want in your life. You need to do what feels unnatural to you when becoming the new you, until it feels natural. It’s just like anything you learn, it takes practice. But this time there are no rules or plans to follow. You get to make all the choices. Trade negative emotions for gratitude and appreciation. Keep your energy,(your mind) greater than your body until it’s the new normal. Maintain elevated emotions all day everyday because the Universe gives us what we feel worthy of. So, when you stay in a high vibration, good things occur.

Listen, I know things aren’t perfect all the time, but remember thoughts are powerful. For example: If you are angry for some reason, you hold yourself hostage to the past. Once you forgive and let go of the negative emotion, there will be a freedom that explodes in your life. And when your heart opens up a flow of energy starts to make its way to the brain. Then you will feel more love than anger. That’s when you’ll experience the chemical change throughout your whole being. At least that has been my experience.

Self regulate your thoughts toward the future. Use your power wisely. Don’t waste energy hating and worrying or being jealous or having anxiety. Again, use your energy wisely. Think of everyday as Christmas day. Wake up and smell the coffee. Change your personality to a whole new you. And remember there is always great love for you here.

Yours Truly,

                                                          Deb Mertan My published


bottom of page