I know most people think that they need to look at what is and react to it whether it is something wanted or something unwanted. But the truth is that we all have a choice to react in any manner we desire. We honestly do create our own reality. And there are always two sides of everything, meaning that you can look at any situation as the cup is half empty or as the cup is half full. It is all a sense of perception. The empty signifies the negative side and the full signifies the positive side. So when you are looking at the full side you are focusing on the positive side and that is easy because you feel joy, but what do you do when you witness something unwanted? My suggestion is that you look away and find something, anything, more joyful to focus on. The more you practice this, the more you will attract more positive things, people and situations to come into your experience. This is what I like to think of as looking through rose colored glasses. I like to think about what I do want and not give much attention to unwanted things except to notice that they are unwanted. I then immediately shift my thinking to more pleasant thoughts even if it is something non-related to what I don’t want. Eventually when I have myself in a good frame of mind I can think of the wanted in a more prosperous way.
For a while now that is exactly what I have been doing and to tell you the truth I have never been happier. I can see now why people experience whatever it is they are focused on. After 9/11 I found myself watching the news intently and I was becoming more and more scared to live in my own country. I was sinking into a deep depression and I knew I had to do something drastic before I became totally paralyzed by my fear.
The first thing I did was to stop watching the news. I couldn’t take it anymore. They just kept talking about it in an endless loop and it got to be mind boggling. So as the days went on I found that by focusing on more pleasant things, like my children, I could feel joy enter my life once again. I truly believe that by this one act of looking away from unwanted truths I started finding my authentic self. And once I started down this path things started changing rapidly for me. And because I was being more selfish and caring more about how I was feeling about everything, things got a little hectic for a minute. I ended up leaving my husband just as the recession got started. Money got very tight and I could hardly pay rent. But I’ll tell you I was much happier than I had been in a long time. And I had faith that things would get better because life goes in cycles and this was just a dip in this time interval.
A short while later my husband passed on to the next phase of life and I became a widow. This made it so that I could collect his social security and his pension. This helped for quite a while but the recession was still on going and I guess I was still buying into the idea that we should all be suffering. It took me a while but as I was sinking into the abyss I remembered that this was not who I am. I am not a (woe is me) kind of person. That’s when I started looking for any way I could to raise my spirits. Instantly things started improving. Money started flowing more freely, my home situation improved, and my whole demeanor transformed for the better. I started reading everything I could find that would help me understand that I am truly the creator of my own reality, and I have the choice to see things, the way I want to, through rose colored glasses.
It has been a few years now and I am still on my beautiful path. So many wonderful things have happened and I know there is so much more to come. I have learned to see things in a much more loving way and I feel good 99.9% of the time. Keeping one’s self happy is a full time job and I for one am willing to make that sacrifice. I know what it feels like to be depressed and don’t wish that feeling on anybody. It is very true that it all starts on the inside. And once you get the hang of happiness you can’t go back. It just feels wrong.
My son is in his twenties now and he has a very good job, government related, and he wants so much for me to hate the government the way he does. But what he doesn’t understand is that by focusing on what he hates he is just perpetuating the unwanted and making himself miserable in the meantime. He asked me, “Why won’t you hate the government with me mom?” I told him it is because I want to be happy. I feel that it is easy for people to look at situations they don’t agree with and try to push them away, but all that does is make it bigger and more uncomfortable for the one pushing. We can’t control what other’s do but we can control how we react to it. What I mean is in order to feel better about a situation you need to look at the positive side of it, or the bright side so to speak. You know there are plenty of things the government does with our tax money that is really good. They build parks and highways for us to travel on. They also provide medi-cal for people that need medical attention and can’t afford it. And don’t forget food stamps for families in need of assistance. There are many more things like that for us to focus on, so you get the picture. I’m sure there are things that you could think of that you appreciate about the government.
In order to see things through rose colored glasses you must see things from the bright side. Sooth your anger, fear and hate by focusing on something pleasing to you and then look for positive aspects of what you are wanting, then watch and see how much happier you are and how your world is morphing right before your very eyes, just the way you want it to.
One thing we must always remember is that we can only control our own emotions. We cannot think, act or feel for another. Nor can any other think, act or do for us. We must all find our own way to happiness, and we must find a way of staying there as often as possible. Then and only then will we truly be the beings we are meant to be. Whoa! Did that hit you like it just hit me? I hope so because I really felt a jolt. So in essence what I got from this is that by staying happy I have the power to do, be or have anything I want to. And no one or anything can project any negativity on me that I do not desire. Keeping myself focused on what I do want, and staying happy on my journey to whatever that is, is all my work really is. I’m going to milk this feeling for a while. It is the most clear I have been in a long time. Not that I haven’t been picking up nuggets of clarity all along the way. But once in a while you get a glimpse of something that just sums up all the answers to questions that have been looming in the background, and BAM!, YOU KNOW! You just know. Right now, what I know is, that life is good and I’m doing great, and wellbeing is abundant, and it just keeps getting better as I focus and stay happy, no matter what anyone else is doing. I choose me! And I hope for all your sakes you choose YOU! Live the life you want no matter what anyone else thinks. They can’t think for you, only you know what is right for you. And that can’t be wrong. And when you live this way things will always work out for you. Remember there is great love here for you.
Your loving friend,
Deb Mertan
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