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Get Out of the, “I’ll Be Happy When” Stage

Have you ever thought, “I’ll be happy when I get that new car, or when I get the right job, or when I get to go on that bitchin’ vacation”? Well that may be true to some extent, but that happiness only lasts for a moment and then you’re off to the next thing. You see, that is backward thinking, because happiness is a choice, not a thing or an event. Happiness is something that comes from within. I’m sure you all know someone that is always smiling even though they don’t have a lot of money, or anything for that matter. They seem to have an air about them that just feels good just being near them. It’s an energy you just can’t explain. And I’m also sure you know of someone that always sees doom and gloom everywhere they go. And the energy seems to get sucked out of the room every time that person enters it. And it’s not that the doom and gloom person is bad, it’s just that they are disconnected from the source from within. Some people call this source their inner being, or the God within, or their soul. Whatever it’s called it is all the same thing. It’s that invisible energy that flows to everyone and everything. The birds feel it, the cats and dogs feel it, even the plants feel it. And it keeps our blood pumping through our veins. It’s what keeps our solar system turning in perfection. Shoot, if you can’t find happiness in all that maybe you are doomed. Just kidding, nobody is doomed, just temporarily disconnected. And that is a good thing to know. Now, you can do something about that.

First of all , if you want to feel good, you need to stop beating up on yourself. You need to know that you are a unique individual with something the world needs and wants. You may not know what that is just yet, but once you start letting yourself find joy you will figure it out. And this will lead to all the other things you desire. But you won’t get those things to make you happy, you’ll get them because you are happy, and they just enhance your joy.

Happiness comes from our imagination. When you can imagine how it feels to be in that new car or a new house, and you don’t put any doubt in your way, those things will come with ease. But again, happiness has to come first.

The way I keep myself happy is through appreciation. I love sitting on my front porch, listening to the birds chirping to each other. It’s so peaceful and it makes my heart sing. I love petting my cat and he loves it too. When I’m driving my car I love looking at the beautiful trees and flowers. There is so much beauty and joy around us, and this is just the beginning stage of learning how to feel good and happy.

The happier I feel, the easier it is to imagine a new car or a new house. And lo and behold I do have a new car and I bought a home. And you know what, it was easy. I just never let doubt get in my way. I just kept to the course and stayed happy no matter what else was going on around me. Oh, once in a while that sneaky doubt tries to get in, but I stop it immediately and either keep thinking good thoughts about whatever it is I want, or I change the subject to something that is pleasing to me, like the birds. In order to do the things you want in this life you must stay the course and keep finding things, anything, that makes you happy. And it doesn’t even have to be jumping up and down happy. Just happy in any form will do.

Now of course this will take practice. One way is to look at yourself in the mirror as often as possible and smile and say, “I love you”. Look yourself right in the eyes and say it. At first it might seem a little weird or uncomfortable. So if it is too hard to say, “I love you”, say, “I am willing to love you”. Eventually you will be comfortable enough to say it and mean it. Another thing you can do is appreciate. Look around and see all that you have already. If you have a car, even if it’s an old clunker, appreciate it. If you hate it you will never get a car you love. The next time you get a car you will end up hating it too. You see, the Universe gives you what you focus upon. If you hate your job and you get a new one, eventually you will hate that one too. You see you take yourself with you everywhere you go, so there will be different faces and places but your feelings will still be the same. So how do you remedy this dilemma? Well, you need to find things that you appreciate about where you are now. For example, I would like a bigger house, so I never put the house I’m in now down in any way. I love my house and I treat it with respect. I keep it clean and I fix things that break. Someday I may want to sell this house so I want it to be as presentable as possible. This is how the Universe knows I appreciate it and will eventually bring me the bigger house. It will happen when the time is right. I’m not worried or fretting over the bigger house. I’m just living my happy life knowing that all is well and things are always working out for me.

I’ll tell you my journey has been a wild one, and I find that the happier I keep myself the more I get what I want in life. But even if I never got any of the things I imagine I am happy, and that is something we are all striving for. Just remember that life is supposed to be good. We all deserve to live our most authentic lives. We are all worthy beings. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. And that’s saying everything.

So now you know you have to find happiness first and then all you want will flow easily and effortlessly to you. Smile more, laugh more and stop saying, “I’ll be happy when”. Be happy now because now is all there is. And remember there is always great love for you here.


Deb Mertan


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